


It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye

by highlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hario and Louigi, M/M, blind!louis, larry stylinson - Freeform, lourry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 12:18:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highlinson/pseuds/highlinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has a car accident and wakes up, not able to see anything. When he realises that he, in fact, will never see anything again but is blind for the rest of his life, he knows this is going to be hard. And he can only hope he doesn't have to go this way all on his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from The Little Prince
> 
> I do not know any therapy for blind people so what I wrote does not have to be true
> 
> Leave kudos and comments if you want to make me happy and enjoy reading :)

„Bye Haz, I'll be back in an hour or so,” Louis shouted over his shoulder to the curled up figure on the couch that was his boyfriend of three years. Normally, Harry would do the grocery shopping since he was also the one responsible to cook dinner whenever they decided against some take-out food, simply because they couldn't risk Louis burning down their house. But today, Harry had just been moping around, sneezing occasionally due to the up-coming cold and because Louis was too impatient to listen to his never-ending whines of “I'm cold” and “I need more handkerchiefs”, he took matters in his own hand and was now about to start the twenty-minute ride to the big supermarket, an occasion that took place extremely rarely.

Knowing Harry would most definitely not fall asleep after Louis' departure due to him taking some medicine which made him a babbling, sniffing, hyperactive mess, Louis tried to hurry and didn't wait for the lift but scurried down the stairs quickly, getting into his newly polished, blue car.

Starting the engine impatiently, he had his mind focused on his poor Harry, lying in bed all alone, and although he could be a bit annoying when he was ill, he'd much rather look after him and make sure everything was all right, it was his role after all. In their relationship, they already had to deal with some problems, nothing too major, just the occasional couple-y bump in the road, but whenever Harry had a problem he knew to immediately tell Louis so his easily affected heart could be mended by his boyfriend. And the shorter boy didn't mind at all, not only did being the older one of the two kind of force him to be the strong one, but he also loved sharing his strength, knowing it will lessen someone's suffering, especially from the person that meant the most to him. So, Louis tried his best at being as fast as he could.

Not even five minutes after he started the ride, his phone rang like he could've predicted if he had wanted to, and he picked up, carefully talking via his expensive hands-free kit, only to hear Harry coughing, followed by his lover begging him to buy more tea, which they honestly would be stocked on for the next twenty years or so.

Patiently, Louis promised to buy whatever his mopy boyfriend wanted and more, and since that seemed to satisfy Harry's easily distracted mind, he chuckled softly and ended the phone call after letting Harry babble about cats – he was even weirder when on painkillers – since his voice was a great distraction from the boring street life and encouraged him in hurrying up, and finally Louis responded to Harry's cheery “I love you” with the exact same words, attaching a smacking sound of his lips that should indicate a kiss for good measure and hanging up on Harry laughing breathily.

Still smiling at his charming, idiotic boyfriend, Louis didn't notice the cat running across the street about fifty metres in front of him and therefore neither the sudden stop of the red car in front of him. The moment Louis realised what was going on, it was too late and although suddenly it was like in one of the films he would sometimes watch with Harry on a Saturday evening, if they weren't too busy with other things, everything happened in some kind of weird slow motion, but he had no control whatsoever about his doings which were being done mechanically, and him violently and, even stranger, subconsciously trying to redirect the steering wheel didn't help any more; he crashed right into the not-moving vehicle in front of him, the shrill sound of steel scratching against metal obnoxiously loud in his ear, making him want nothing more than to make that unbearable noise stop.

After what felt like painfully ticking by hours, was really not even a second though, he felt his head bump painfully against something incredibly stable, supposedly the rear-view mirror, and then he saw glass flying around, felt his left side being forced against the door frame in a battle he just couldn't win and the last thing he saw before his vision was sparked with red and finally went black was the hands-free kit announcing another call from Harry.


	2. The Awakening

Everyone was talking, the sound of chatting voices only drowned in some obnoxious beeping right next to Louis' head. The air was sticky and hot, making it harder to breathe, which, as Louis now noticed through the fog in his head, was difficult anyway since every of his breaths was strangled by his aching ridges.

After trying to heave his right arm to righten his dishevelled, sweaty fringe but not succeeding due to being too wake and linked with innumerable cords that made moving almost impossible, Louis heaved out a low, weak groan, which immediately caused silence to settle in the muggy room.

He recognised the sound of a chair scraping back next to him and opened his eyes, furrowing his thin eyebrows when he was met with nothing but pitch black. “Why did you turn the light off?”, he asked confusedly, his brain, which was working on painkillers, bluntly let him say the first thing that came to his mind with a raspy voice and quieter than he had intended to, due to not being used for quite some time.

“Oh, Louis,” he heard a tired voice that was unmistakably Harry's half whisper, half sob, and then he felt his cheek being caressed by long yet tender fingers, his nose taking in the marvellous scent of Harry's manly cologne due to him being so close to him.

At the realisation of the presence of his boyfriend in the still quiet room, Louis' lips perked up in a weak smile, that caused a whimper from the younger boy in front of him, making Louis even more confused. Before the disorientated boy could pop another question, he heard a chirpy voice that must belong to a woman say in an attempt of sounding soothing, “We'll have to explain now. If you can bear, it would be good to stay.”

Louis could hear Harry answering with a simple “Of course” immediately, making his heart warm but also let him worry about the unusual amount of serenity and concern in the otherwise always so cheerful boy. He discerned the sound of someone taking a seat next to him and he raked his head in an attempt to look who exactly it was but realised he still couldn't see anything. Did they gave him a blindfold?

A soft hand with long, without doubt manicured nails overlapped his own and he flinched briefly at the unexpected contact, but caught himself again quickly. He just wasn't fond of not knowing what was happening around him, giving people the opportunity to sneak up on him, and a freaking blindfold didn't exactly help with that.

“Louis Tomlinson,” the voice he had heard before more stated then asked, waiting for him to give a brief nod and then continued, “you have been in a terrible car accident three days ago. Due to several operations and us wanting to rest your body the best way possible, we chose not to let you wake up before now. Now, can you tell us anything about the accident in detail?”

Louis, taking some time to let the information of him having passed out for three full days sink in, tried to remember the incident, which immediately brought back the sound of metal clashing against metal and made his left sleeve throb even more than it already did. “There ...”, he made a break to clear his sore, dry throat and went on with, “there was a cat and suddenly, the car stopped and, and...” he stated, increasing speed and his breaths get more ragged as he relived the possibly most horrible minutes of his life.

The nurse shushed him soothingly, telling him that this was more than enough and that he did great, which confused him since he didn't expect getting treated so kindly for just answering a question.  
After the nurse winking over Harry, which went unnoticed by Louis since he still couldn't see a thing, his hand was grasped tightly by one he knew like the back of his own and he gratefully returned the pressure. “Mr Tomlinson,” the kind nurse started, then heaved a sigh before minding to be professional and continuing, more focused, “the following will not be easy for you, neither for everyone and everything involved in your everyday life.”

This was the first time since waking up that Louis started to honestly worry. At the stern words of the woman besides him, his stomach tightened and his palms got sweaty, which Harry noticed right away and tried to soothe by kissing Louis' knuckles.

After stroking Louis left hand that was unoccupied by Harry one last time slowly, the nurse said those few sentences that Louis had never expected to hear in his whole life: “You are blind. We tried everything to save your eyesight, but it didn't work.”


	3. Realisation

For about three minutes, Louis showed absolutely no reaction, no sign of life even. Then, everything came like crashing waves onto his fragile body and mind. The fact that he had seen nothing but darkness and the odd outline every now and again since his awaking suddenly made sense, the real reason for Harry's reaction to his answer as to why 'the lights were off' settled in his brain like an invincible desease.  
Suddenly, everything seemed so far away, so unreal. He needed to see something, anything, or he might go crazy. He violently closed and opened his eyes over and over, growing desperate at the attempt of letting some light reach his destroyed retina.

Harry, catching on to what his boyfriend was doing couldn't bring himself to tell him that there was no use, that nothing about his state of sight would change, and looked at the nurse with tear filled, red-rimmed eyes.”Mr To-,” her voice echoed through the room that was now empty except for the three of them, but Louis cut her off by screaming, “No”, so loudly he could feel Harry's hand twitch as he tried to flinch back out of instinct.

The thought of his boyfriend and how he would never be able to see him again made his now useless eyes well up with tears and Louis started whimpering “Harry” so quietly that said one caught it at his fourth attempt of the mantra he was talking. “I'm here, I'm here, babe, I won't leave,” Harry was quick to answer, pressing his hand reassuringly and leaving tiny kisses all over Louis' wet cheeks, who didn't even realise until now that he was crying.

That only made more tears cascade down his cheeks, ending up running over Harry's palms that didn't once broke the contact with the shorter boy's damp face. The calming words Harry whispered non-stop helped Louis to fight against the weight that was suddenly put on his chest and his cries decreased to dry, broken sobs, his eyes stopping to shed the water they now no longer needed to grant moisture enough eyes. Harry shut up as he noticed the patient nurse, who has been waiting next to them, very much to Louis' disapproval, was about to speak up, and Louis held back the whimper that threatened to leave his swollen lips at the lack of his peaceful words echoing throughout the badly air-conditioned room, but he composed himself because although his stubborn brain still didn't and also just was unable to accept the fact that the rest of his life has to be spent in darkness, he knew the nurse only did her job and wanted to help them get through this. Well, at least he hoped he didn't have to go through this alone. The sole thought made him swallow hard.

“We are offering special therapies to help you try to cope with the change you will have to go through. Since the rest of your body is surprisingly unharmed except for some slight bruises on your left side, you can chose whether you want to stay here for the night or not. Of course we also offer an abidance for a few days in case you have to make major changes in your home.”

Her way of talking went back to how it was in the very beginning, monotone and untouched, and although Louis would have been upset if she had talked to any other patient like that, he was extremely glad that she didn't give him pity or told him everything would be fine and work out.

After shaking his head at her wanting to know if they had any other questions, the nurse excused herself and left them some time on their own, surely on purpose.

Not sure if he should face Harry to make it seem as though he was looking at him or save him the unfocused stare of his dull blue eyes, he kept his head downcast in the direction of his fidgeting fingers. “Hey,” Harry said, softly. Hesitantly, Louis raised his head and looked at where he suspected Harry's head would be, then he felt tender fingers turning his head ever so slightly to fake eye contact, but he didn't mind. Although he normally was the strong one in their relationship he was grateful that Harry could take turns too and it was one of the best feelings to be comforted in moments like these.

And Louis was prepared for everything, from comforting words to desperate sobs, the last bit of his brain even considered a break up, but never would he have even suspected the following words to leave Harry's plumb lips considering the circumstances. So he was completely shell-shocked as he heard Harry almost whisper, “I'm sorry...” What??


	4. Guilt

“What?,” Louis wanted to know, furrowing his brows in an irritated manner. What on earth made Harry feel the need to apologise?  
“You know, I'm sorry for making you drive to the supermarket... I'm sorry for calling and distracting you. It's all my fault, you're blind and it's my fault and I can't do anything against it!”  
Harry had yelled the last part, making Louis duck his head a bit, not used to experiencing his boyfriend upset, and Harry lowered his voice again instantly.

“Oh, no, baby, no, don't say that!”, Louis quickly spoke up, voice tumbling over itself in an attempt to make it clear to Harry that none of this was his fault. Although Harry knew it should be him soothing Louis and not the other way round and that this was plain ridiculous he had to admit he needed that sort of appreciation, needed to be the weak one one last time, and he hoped and sensed somehow that Louis, on the other hand, needed to show his strong side once again, to show that nothing could break him.

“We can't change it now anyway, Haz. It was probably fate,” he said, although he believed more in coincidences than destiny, but he knew it would satisfy his love.

“Yeah...”, Harry started, voice long having gone back to its usual state of gravelly low. He scooted closer, leaning in to press a chase kiss to Louis forehead, asking, “How're you feeling?”  
And Louis just shrugged, avoiding the obvious issue and saying, “My side hurts a bit, but nothing too bad.”

Harry hummed, still against his forehead, thumb rubbing soothing circles on his right cheek, pulling back a bit to look at Louis, who had his eyes closed since it didn't matter anyway, and asked, “Do you feel like going home today?”

At that, Louis' eyes shut open, forgetting his blindness, the hurt that came with the realisation briefly obvious in his features, but he was quick to ask a breathless, “You want to go home.. with .. me?” Harry laughed tranquilly, saying, “Of course, love, why shouldn't I?”

“You do know that things will change dramatically now? Nothing will be the same, Haz,” Louis, always the factual one, said, sadness evident in his still a bit rough voice.

“We can make it, though, I know we're strong enough,” Harry, suddenly next to the lying boy's ear, whispered, then moving to press their lips together in a loving, reassuring kiss that was supported by so much love and safety that it had Louis tearing up again, but Harry didn't mind, in fact he even pulled Louis closer, wiping at his tears furiously, tongues melding in a loving manner.

Although it was clear to them that the kiss wouldn't lead to anything, not in a hospital, they were a bit disappointed as the door burst open after a knock that didn't wait to be answered and another nurse came in.

“I'm sorry to interrupt,” she said without really meaning it and if Louis had the ability to he would have rolled his eyes, “but the deputy wants to know if and if yes how long you are going to stay so he can prepare the medicines.”

After looking at Harry in an old manner and feeling his hand being held shortly, but reassuringly, instead of the eager nod he was used to, Louis announced that he was ready for his departure.

The nurse then left to tell the news to the head of the hospital and Louis slowly sat up, noticing the stinging in his ribcage has gotten less since his awakening and when he reached for something to hold onto disorientatedly without being too obvious, he felt Harry splaying his large hand across his back.

Louis stood up, getting dressed with a lot of help from Harry and not too much embarrassment – they have been together for several years, after all, and as they finished that task after way more time than it normally would have taken, which none of them brought up, Louis mindlessly said, “I really need a shower.”

But as he realised what that meant now, the fact that he wouldn't be able to shower alone without Harry helping him, he froze in his movements and tensed visibly, but Harry chuckled lightly and said, “I'd rather fancy taking a shower with you” and Louis could see the smirk on his face, not really, of course, but he knew that it lighted up his features like it usually did and this last glance of normality made Louis face shine like the sun as he quickly made his way over into Harry's direction, who, to Louis' luck, was only standing a few feet away, and embraced him in a bone crushing hug which the taller boy gladly returned, and none of them even considered complaining as their mouths found one another and Harry smiled into Louis' mouth as the latter raised his arms and caressed Harry's face, seeing without his eyes, drawing shapes onto the younger boy's closed eyelids and tugging playfully at Harry's curls. And when Harry let a moan be muffled by Louis' thin lips and he pulled back and said breathlessly, “Not here, Boo”, it all was so normal that Louis' heart felt about a hundred pounds lighter.


	5. Weaknesses

Louis was a little bit paranoid of driving in a car after what had happened, and no one could blame him, really, so he made it clear to Harry that he was going to refuse any kind of talking or distracting him otherwise, at which Harry pressed a kiss to his temple and promised that nothing was going to happen and that he now would watch out for both of them, still feeling a bit guilty but he knew Louis didn't like it so he didn't let it slip.

After a car ride that seemed too long for Louis who was used to spending the time with talking or admiring the environment and Harry blasting the lyrics to some song by his currently favourite band, The 1975 - “bloody Hipster”, Louis would mutter occasionally – which owned him a stern look from Louis who knew by Harry's breathy laugh that he caught that one, the roaring sound of the engine stopped and Louis heard the door open and close, while he fidgeted with his belt, managing to get it to open before he felt air rush in from his left side and Harry's curls tickle his cheek.

Harry led Louis by his hand whenever he went wrong, but he had remembered most of the ways throughout and around their house perfectly, so they were in their shared bedroom in a matter of minutes, Harry dropping the small bag that contained some of Louis' clothing (and probably the odd short of himself, too – they didn't really mind sharing) and the painkillers, as well as a sheet with emergency numbers which went from ones every kid probably has engraved in its brain, such as the ambulance to ones that made him gulp thickly and hope it would never have to be called by one of them – suicide hotlines, all saved with the help of the abbreviated dialling on Louis' phone that was designed for blind people, which meant the keys were showed in Braille and the phone said everything that was written, which didn't provide Louis much of privacy with his personal messages, but that wasn't one of the problems clouding his mind.

When he heard Harry rummaging around in the bag he had received from hospital and slowly humming to himself, he made his way out of the door quietly, heading to the kitchen on the first floor because he was really thirsty. He went down the staircase and into the kitchen which he knew like the back of his hand and, after realising Harry had cleaned up the left-over glasses from when he last was here, carefully grabbed a glass from one of the drawers and filled it with water, knowing when to stop by holding his finger onto the edge like he had seen in some film.

Harry had stopped humming The City in the meantime and asked some irrelevant question, perking his head up as he received no answer whatsoever, he turned around, facing the empty bedroom. “Oh-oh,” he mumbled, hearing a loud shattering sound followed by a horrible thumb coming from the location of the kitchen. Dropping everything he had held in his pale hands, he hurried down the staircase to see Louis lying there in the midst of hundreds of little broken pieces of glass, his bare feet strained by fine, red lines, a hand clutching his bruised left side while the other wiped furiously at his eyes that were shedding tears Harry supposed were more of anger than pain.

“Lou,” Harry said softly, worry evident in his low voice, sock-clad feet tapping closer to the hurled up boy, who took notice of that and curled even more into himself, making the broken fragments splayed all around him cut sharply across his arms, but he just winced quietly, his body being shaken by muted sobs.

“Go away,” he heard Louis mutter into the crook of his elbow and it hurt him more than the older boy probably suspected. “Don't be silly, love, I promised you to be here. I said we'll go through this together, if you let me.”  
This made Louis groan frustratedly, then he yelled while trying to dry his damp cheeks like a maniac, “There's no going through, don't you understand? This is no phase that will go by eventually, not the oh-so famous bump in the road, this is forever, this is final!”  
By now, Louis was a crying mess, not even caring about the blood pouring out from the innumerable little cuts shattered all over his body any more, thinking Harry had already left now that he made it clear to him how desperate and hopeless of a case he was, and he was content, although he could have kept Harry a bit longer, could have acted as if everything would be fine again, he felt better with being left alone now than he would have if he had relished in Harry's caring company for too long.

Suddenly though, he was being picked up bridal style, and a wave of Harry's favourite cologne hit him and that and the tiny kiss that was pressed atop of his feathery hair made it feel so much like home that he just started to cry louder, sobs shattering his still not totally cured body, his body, mind and spirit all went numb and his as well as Harry's shirt were wet with tears as if it had rained for hours.

When he was about to be put down, he instinctively and subconsciously clutched onto Harry's button up shirt, which cause him another kiss, this time on his temple, and calming hands running up and down his bare arms, causing goosebumps to erupt everywhere the touch left his skin.  
Harry's slow, low voice was like a lullaby to Louis and helped him calm down enough to let his body feel the touches fully again, and that was when he realised that he didn't wear a shirt any more, and that Harry was about to pull down the only thing he still wore, his boxers.

Taking a step back which ended in running fast and back first into the mirror that covered one of the four large bathroom walls, but he didn't care about the pain since the medicine he was given at the hospital still had his mind a big foggy and asked instead, “What are you doing?”

And it wasn't mean, nor distracted, it was just a question bluntly asked out of confusion, anxiety and sheer curiosity. “You have to take a shower, babe, you are covered in blood, juice and even a bit dirt,” Harry explained patiently, scooting closer to his almost naked boyfriend and bringing the back of his hand up to his reddened cheek when he saw the boy loosen up, and he wanted to tell him how beautiful he looked right now, blushing, and how beautiful he always looked, because that was just his, their thing to do, but he couldn't. He wouldn't put him through even more pain by bragging with a thing he no longer had, so Harry removed his own boxers and then encouraged Louis to do the same with his by tugging them down gently.

Still insecure and embarrassed, Louis, who now finally had stopped crying, let his covers fall and grabbed Harry's hand, entering the shower with him. Carefully, Harry rinsed out the tiny cuts, kissing every single one of them and Louis' mouth whenever he hissed in pain, which ended up in Louis being exaggeratedly loud just to lengthen their kiss, and Harry, who caught up on the little game, didn't mind at all.

After having his hair washed and, after exiting the shower, towel-dried by Harry, Louis waited for Harry to come back with new clothes, meanwhile stepping in front of the large mirror he knew was foggy and writing their initials into the mist.

As Harry saw what Louis had done when he had been gone, Harry smiled widely, rewarding Louis with a kiss, dragging them to their shared bedroom and pulling him on top of him on the bed.  
After kissing lazily for a bit, Louis contently turned his head so that his ear was right over Harry's fast beating heart, sighing peacefully as he concentrated on that sound and the little, mindless patterns Harry's large hand was drawing onto his back.

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, he heard Harry say, “I love you so much, no matter what. You are my final.”  
And Louis once again had tears brimming at his eyes, this time ones of joy, though, and he whispered quiet “I love you”s and “Thank you so so much”s into Harry's chest until he fell asleep, Harry's arm being draped protectively across his torso.


	6. First Steps

When Louis woke up, the first thing he realised was, that he wasn't cuddled up with his boyfriend, which was strange and unusual. As he opened his eyes to look where Harry had vanished to and why, and he was met with a very dark shade of grey, indicating that the room was lit by either the sun shining through one of the over dimensional windows or a lamp being turned on, realisation hit him and he remembered the last night's events.

Trying to concentrate on the part where Harry had been so overly caring about him and not on the time when he had been so vulnerable at the end of their staircase, he weakly shouted his lover's name, which was being answered by a muffled, “Coming, love!” and heavy footsteps, before Harry was kissing him good morning, flour tickling Louis' chin and nose.

“You're making breakfast?” Louis asked hopefully, worries about the day before forgotten the instant Harry had rushed through the door, letting himself being drawn to a standing position by Harry, who hummed and answered, “Pancakes, your favourite,” giving the already hungry boy a peck on his thin lips.

Descending the stairs swiftly, Harry refused to let go of Louis' hand, which the older boy was glad about, even though he didn't say this since he still wasn't quite used to being regarded after more than normal. Somewhere along Louis sleeping and Harry preparing food in the kitchen, the curly-haired boy must have cleaned away the mess, since Louis' feet were still bare but he wasn't carried nor being warned and Harry didn't decrease their pace more than he would have anyway.

Arriving at the kitchen, Harry place Louis atop of the counter without asking for Louis' permission since he knew by heart that this was Louis' favourite place in the tiled room due to him being rather awful at cooking, and Louis' heart swelled a bit more at the small, seemingly mindless gesture and he was happily swinging his feet back and forth, and, to his own surprise, even found himself humming Harry's favourite song, which was just so Hipster that Louis was annoyed with himself for being affected so easily, but since he was provided with another tongue-filled kiss from Harry that tasted like pancake dough and chocolate, he didn't mind too much and the fact that they both picked up each other's habits without wanting to nor realising made him see once again how depended they were on each other, now even more so one way round.

Their dinner, which Louis considered “delicious, but that's what I'm used to”, winking afterwards, which made both of them happy yet sad at the same time, minding the fact that this was about the only thing he was still able to do with his blue but dull eyes, consisted of their usual banter, just that this time Harry helped Louis find his way with his fork to Harry's mouth to feed him a piece of overly sweet pancake drowned in chocolate, just like Louis liked it, and Harry had to tell his partner when to open his mouth so he wouldn't get cream all over his mouth. That plan didn't work out really well, though, and Harry soon was licking and sucking at the corner of Louis' chapped lips, in an attempt to clear away the cream and kiss at the same time, which had Louis moaning contently.

Their make-out session that was getting more and more heated by the minute was interrupted as Louis' phone rang and the monotone feminine voice announced it was “doctor Robert“ calling. Not wanting to break the contact at all, Louis drew Harry even closer to him, licking his way into his mouth a bit desperately, but Harry, being the overly careful person he was, detached their hungry lips gently and nudged Louis' shoulder, promising him to pick this up again another time, and Louis was already so annoyed because it's been weeks and lately the hospital seemed to interrupt whenever possible, so he picked up with a not-so-calm “What?” and immediately regretted it at the concern audible in the almost twice as old man's voice when asking, “Are you all settled in? Or do you need … want to spend another night at the hospital?”  
Louis forced himself to sound happy, despite having other things than reporting his well-being to his doctor on his mind, but not overly cheerful since then his doctor would probably suppose he had gone insane or worse, and Harry smiling against his cheek, hands never leaving his body, whether they were massaging his shoulders or stroking his back, helped a lot.

“Yes, we have just finished breakfast, we already unpacked yesterday evening,” Louis reported, stressing the we purposefully since he could sense doctor Robert being worried that things might not work out between Harry and Louis – he has been working at hospitals for some decades now, after all, and knew that not every partner could except extreme changes like these, despite trying really hard. However, Louis' answer seemed to satisfy Dr. Robert because he just said, “Well, we have an appointment for today at three, enjoy your time until then,” and his fake smile could be heard through the phone.  
Cutting his goodbye short, Louis threw his phone across the room, hoping not to miss his aim, which was their couch, and smirking triumphantly when he heard the mobile hit one of the fluffy pillows, making Harry chuckle and drag him back onto his lap.

“Are you afraid?”, Harry suddenly asked and Louis, confused by the sudden change of mood, had to ask what exactly he meant with that to him rather mysterious question, not really wanting to talk about serious things right now, his body and, most of all, mind having been overly strained over the past few days.  
“Of going to the hospital. Of being treated differently. Of having to deal directly with your blindness,” Harry said matter-of-factly, making the serenity of their, or more like, Louis' situation clear without dramatising it or scaring the blind man to death, but before Louis, who spent most of the time with occupying his mind with other things than the obvious problem at hand, could answer with one of his fake, too loud “Of course not, I'm totally fine”s, Harry added, a bit quieter this time, “Because I sure as hell would be.”  
And he sounded so honest, no pity or stress evident in his gravel voice, just worry about the well-being of his boyfriend, that Louis was about to start crying again, not being used to being so cared for, since usually he was the one that looked after everyone, and no-one could really blame the with the recent events having taken place marked, exhausted boy for being brought to tears a bit more often than usual, considering the newly burdens forced upon him.  
So Louis just hugged Harry tightly, nodding against the side of his neck in defeat, yet too pride and busy with the year-long training of appearing strong to voice his worries, fears and doubts, and instead letting himself be taken care of by Harry soundlessly, and enjoying the warmth of his touch and the loving meaning behind each gentle kiss, and Harry was glad to be able to do something which helped mending his boyfriend a bit, if only for a short while, because he wanted to be there for him, he couldn't stand the helplessness he was feeling when he couldn't help Louis, and he promised the blind man, but also himself, to try everything to make it work, to simplify Louis' life as far possible under these circumstances.


	7. Way Up

Louis took a deep breath before being led through the automatic doors of the multiple-story building that was the hospital he had been staying in the first few days after the horrible car accident, hand tightly engulfed by Harry's larger, firmer ones. When they walked up to the receptionist, Louis fully realised for the first time how much of an effect his sudden blindness actually has on his life, he felt as if he would have been completely lost if it wasn't for Harry holding him with a strong, loving grip. Everything around them was buzzing, he heard shouts and machines working, someone was crying while some doors opened every five seconds or so to reveal  
some more noises whose exact origin Louis wasn't able to discern without the help of his eyes. He felt so vulnerable and so small, having to use Harry as a guidance, and suddenly he just wanted to go home, to stay in all day with Harry who made his disability seem normal, who made it not matter. Here, he felt like a misfit, the odd man out while everyone else was interacting, and he felt like crying.

Harry, who seemed to know something was going on with Louis chose not to give it too much thought since he had reckoned the hospital and therefore contacting other people would put Louis in a stressful situation, but as the shorter boy let an accidental whimper slip out, Harry immediately stopped his rather rapid pace, causing Louis, who was completely unprepared, to bump straight into him, making him feel even more desperate and independent.

Now, Louis knew there was no use in trying to act normal and he didn't know how many or if even at all people were watching them but he didn't mind either, so he didn't stop his eyes from watering and Harry was quick to wipe the stray tear off of his cheek that seemed to never get a real change to dry at all lately, and he pressed a soft kiss there, asking what the matter was. But Louis, still in his role of the stronger one, just shook his head and dragged Harry with him, determined to act as though nothing was wrong with his vision and made his way to the reception, which ended in Harry screaming for him to stop after a few steps before Louis could run straight into a solid wall.

Hugging the older male tightly, Harry whispered into his ear, “It's okay to be scared, Lou. I can't even imagine how your situation must be like but I promised you to be there for you, all along the way, and we're here to make it better, Boo, the people here will help you”, and he did know that he sounded as if he was talking to a child and he also was informed about the fact that Louis despised it, but the blind man was too exhausted and overwhelmed by his numerous feelings of anxiety that he just gave in and let Harry announce that they arrived – thirty minutes late with Louis panicking, but no one said anything about it.

When they were asked to take a seat in front of an aged man's large, wooden table, they sat down the closest possible to each other, neither wanting to let go sooner than required. After being introduced with the usual procedure of being allowed to address by first names, though this was mostly meant for Louis, and the general steps that the therapy sessions will consist of, Robert asked how the past day was going, making Louis tense slightly, unnoticeable for a normal person but obvious to the doctor's skilled eyes. “And please, don't let me hear how great and wonderfully normal it was,” the schooled man prompted, making Louis realise that he actually was talking to someone who at least tried to understand the hardest possible, which made anxiety of doing something wrong arise on the one hand while the thought of actually being able to get better with professional help came up along the lines of fearful conclusions.

Dr Robert listened carefully to Louis' slightly less humiliating version of the broken-glass-staircase-incident, making approving humming sounds every so often, showing that he cared since Louis couldn't see the nods he would give his other patients. And it would have sounded uninterested from the doctor's part, but Harry could see the notes he was writing in the typical messy font, recording all the little details of the story. When Louis was finished, cheeks burning a bit and fingers fiddling, which was soon stopped by Harry wrapping his own protectively around them, doctor Robert asked some more questions like about his use with the special phone he had received. As soon as the talking part was over, the physician asked Harry politely to take a seat outside of the rehabilitation room, promising Louis who was obviously displeased about his partner's leaving that it would be better for his progress if he did the tasks at his own since the result they wished for was more independence and even Louis with his stubborn mind had to accept the logic of that.

So, the doors closed themselves behind Harry who was uttering last, reassuring words and Louis was left in a, under the circumstances, calm and comforting silence with his therapist. The one and a half hour lasting session was just about talking about the importance of confidence required with his new disability and then a rather long-winded explanation of Braille, which Louis, who had never been the most patient student, got recorded to listen to it again at home, which would also help to explain to Harry. At the end of his first session, Louis exited the room with a taped version of their conversation, a shorter, lighter version of the typical white cane, an Identification Cane, which his doctor had advised him to use whenever he was on his own and also try it out at home, preferable with someone around – and Harry's name didn't really have to be said since it was crystal clear to both of them, and additionally the ability to read the words “I am”, his surname and Harry's as well in Braille, and the hospital even donated a computer specified for blind people which meant it would display and write Braille as well as, similar to his new phone, read things out aloud and accept spoken commands.

All in all, Louis thought his first session was a bit tough and there of course still was a lot of work to come, but he found it a rather success and was optimistic as he left the large doors arm in arm with Harry, who didn't stop praising him for every little thing he heard about therapy all the way to their house home, and Louis didn't mind at all, kissing Harry boisterously which had them both laughing into each other's mouth.


	8. I Spy With My Little Eye

When they were in the hospital a week later, Louis, although he was always lazy and not really the most ambitious person, had, due to Harry's never-ending encouragement and praise, improved his ability in reading Braille immensely. Whenever he wasn't too exhausted from doing tasks that were casually done by him before his fatal accident, Harry, who had his own company, took a break from his work and made his most loyal worker take over , would sit down with him and tell him how important it was to make progress fast. And Louis knew, he really did, but he would always groan and do it without much interest, but after he discovered Harry's praise didn't only contain words, but also his beloved kisses, a smile appeared on his face whenever he got a word right, and of course he didn't miss the chance of claiming that proudly to his doctor, who smiled at his energy and power. 

So, on that Wednesday, when Harry once again was about to leave, as usual, doctor Robert asked him to stay, at which a surprised Harry took place next to an even more confused Louis, who still, behind all of the unanswered question inside his head, managed, somehow, to have a smile etched on his lips. Since every nurse and doctor who had had the pleasure to meet Louis and Harry was affected by their extremely strong love they had for each other and how well the two of them worked out, seemingly even more so now, in tough times, Louis' therapist had had, as he was reporting them now, a get-together with some colleagues, who all agreed with him to try some kind of couple therapy with them. Harry, as always overly glad to help, beamed at the chance of supporting Louis through medically tested ways and immediately reached for Louis' smaller hand, who granted that when he felt Harry's fingertips graze his palm. Louis, on the other hand, although being thankful for everything Harry did, had some worries, since he was the most vulnerable inside the infirmary and sometimes got frustrated when something didn't work out the way he wanted or when he was just so fed up with simply not being able to see, a side of him which Harry barely, if even, got to see, and he still was focused on appearing strong, ignoring the quite official fact that Harry would always be there for him no matter if he tried his best or gave up too soon this time and that his boyfriend could sense his mood better than a swallow had a sense for a change in weather.

Before Louis could get too engulfed in thinking about possible risks, which only happened in his wildest fantasies of course, the doctor spoke up again, addressing Harry, “It will require a bit of work, of course, but nothing major, I just need to be hundred percent sure that you are going to stick to the programme, and Louis, all the time.” His smile and soft tone made it pretty clear that he only asked that because it was some kind of doctor Code and not because he had any doubt in Harry's presence throughout Louis' therapy. Quickly, Harry affirmed his agreement, guaranteeing to everything Robert said, excited and also a bit nervous to finally do something apart from just talking and pressing sweet, long-lasting kisses wherever he could reach for his love, not that he didn't enjoy that, quite the opposite, really, and he naturally would continue these little signs of affection, but he needed to do something, he was so done with just watching and listening, that he was giddy with excitement.

The first thing Harry noticed when the three of them entered the elongated room that contained a lot of gadgetries, some of them which Harry recognised by description of Louis he had received during one of the many talks about successful or exhausting therapy sessions, which were beloved by Harry, whether they ended with something good or bad didn't matter as long as he knew that Louis had tried, that he hadn't given up. Sometimes, Harry wondered what Louis would have done if he didn't have Harry by his side during these times, and also it was a very selfish thing to think, he mostly came to the conclusion that Louis was quite dependent on him, and always had been, probably, but well, Harry was a bit too modest to accept that. Sure, Louis' family supported him, but they couldn't just move and give up their jobs and social lives because of Louis, no matter how much they had wanted to, which was another reason why they were so incredibly grateful for Harry, and whenever Harry thought about the different endings of Louis' disadvantageous situation he had to stop himself, not wanting to see how fragile Louis was after all (but not ignoring it, either).

The next thing that drew Harry's attention was how easily Louis made his way around, even more confident than in their home due to the room being a lot smaller, and since Louis was so reliant on help everywhere else than their house, Louis moving through the room like he hadn't done anything else in his life made Harry smile instantly. And if this wasn't a serious therapy session that had doctor Robert in the room, Harry most definitely would have went straight over to Louis to kiss him passionately, not being able to contain his pride. 

After having been asked to sit down Louis actually pulled Harry's chair out for him, knowing exactly where it was located since he spent a great amount of time in the training room, and after having sensed that Harry had sat down and his cheek got praised with a wet, loving kiss, he smirked and took place next to the love of his life, immediately entangling their hands.  
Harry, who was smiling like a fool but couldn't help himself in being all giddy and proud about this little, under other circumstances normal, gesture of his boyfriend, caught, in contrast to Louis, caught the small smile that was etched on the doctor's features and blushed.

Louis, as always patiently waiting for what his doctor and mentor had to say, perked up his ears and subconsciously swung his and Harry's joined hands back and forth, oblivious to the wordless exchange of the two other men in the room. Both males listened carefully when the doctor started to explain the cycle of the session.

“Since Louis has already made himself home in here, as you could see, Harry, we better start straight away. I don't know if or how much Louis told you about what we do in these sessions but,” and just before Louis could cut him off, he was quick to continue, voice raised a little just to be louder than Louis' quirky self, “but that doesn't matter anyway since today we'll be trying something totally different, it's a couple session after all,” and Harry had a feeling that if the doctor hadn't been so trained on interacting with blind people he would've underlined his words with a wink.

That information let Louis shut up for once and he slightly furrowed his eyebrows, sometimes forgetting that his mimic was still visible to other although it wasn't like that the other way round, as he heard the man in front of him stand up but no further sounds were audible in the room. When the doctor started to speak again, his voice was closer than estimated to Louis which made the short man flinch and the doctor scold himself for being so forgetful when in the presence of a seeing person for even that short amount of time, but Louis soon picked up his courage again, Harry's presence next to him speeding up that process even more, and relaxed.

Lowering his voice for not shocking Louis again, the doctor explained, “I brought along a blindfold for Harry, to let him get a feeling for your situation, Louis. Are you willing to try this out?”, he asked, wanting everyone to be completely okay and comfortable with this, turning to face Harry, who eagerly nodded and then, after thinking his action over, replied verbally, “Yes, of course,” his words still accompanied by a curt nod.

“Great, well, then, the task is that, after applying the blindfold, you should try to get around without aid for as long as you want, you can of course always ask me for support, and later on I will ask you to do common tasks.”

Harry was about to agree again, sensing it would be difficult but not seeing a problem in that if it helped understanding his boyfriend's situation better, but Louis, suspicious as always, asked,”And what exactly is the aim of that?”

Doctor Robert smiled softly, knowing his patient's antics by now, and continued with further explanations, “When your boyfriend experiences with what you have to cope it will most likely make it easier for him to understand and help you and he will now where exactly you have problems and can treat that without having to look for the cause first.”

Louis nodded in understanding, although he thought it all sounded a bit cool, as if Harry was his doctor and hasn't been on his side for years, as if he was just a special case that Harry had to bear just because he was too kind to let go, and deep down Louis knew this wasn't the kind of thought Robert would have liked him to think, quite the opposite, really, but truth be told, Louis was just immensely scared that after Harry had seen how much of a burden he is that he would change his mind and leave, which, to be honest, would be the easier way out for him.

Harry, who was once in his life not focused on Louis but chasing his train of thoughts about the events that would be coming, didn't notice his boyfriend tense and gulp hard, instead he let go of his hand in order to grab the blindfold from the doctor, but Louis, who, of course, couldn't see that, misinterpreted his actions and started panicking.

“Stop this now!”, he almost screamed, making the two men next to him freeze in their actions and look at him wide-eyed. “What's wrong?”, Harry asked alarmed, while the doctor reached out to put a hand on Louis' shoulder, but the blind man just flinched back. Louis, who was now on the edge of tears and unable to keep all of these bottled up feelings to himself any longer, whispered almost inaudibly, “Please, don't leave,” which left Harry completely shell-shocked as to why his boyfriend of more than three years would even consider such a thing.

The lanky male now crouched down next to him, letting a hand settle on Louis' shoulder who recognised the touch as Harry's and gave in to it, trying to catch himself but he couldn't help the tears rolling down his cheeks. At that, their doctor seemed to sense that this was something intimate and he quietly made his way to the door, which earned him a thankful look from Harry, at which he just smiled a bit sadly as if to say, “It's your turn to mend now.”

At the sound of the door closing Louis, despite Harry's hand still lingering on his body, began trembling even harder and the hot tears picked up speed. Harry, who couldn't stand seeing Louis like this, was quick to shush him with low, whispered promises of love. “Hey, darling, what's wrong? You can talk to me, you know that, babe.”

Louis, who began feeling embarrassed for his desperation, blushed a bit but didn't stop himself from clinging to Harry's already wet shirt, deciding to just pour his heart out and hope for the best. “It's just, I-I,” he started but, upon seeing this wouldn't lead them anywhere, took a break to take a few deep breaths and tried again, “I thought that if, if you saw how much of a, a burden I actually am, y-.” He was cut off by Harry pressing gentle kisses against his temple, murmuring, “You are not. You are everything but a burden. I love you no matter how hard it will get,” but Louis, who wanted to make it clear to Harry what he was fearing and maybe even give him a chance to make up his mind and leave in the end – not that he really wanted that but he thought it was just fair – didn't wait until Harry's soft lips reached his own but continued, “But when you see - if you saw that I can do little to nothing on my own you probably wouldn't want to stuck with me, so I didn't want to give you a chance to fully see how incapable I am of the smallest of things, and I know that this was completely selfish, I do, but,” and once again he was interrupted, this time with Harry's plump lips against his own thin ones, and despite still worrying he kissed back.

And as Harry moved his hands to his cheeks, he ignored the fact that it annoyed him to not just see what Harry wanted him to as soon as his fingertips got wet and he realised that he wasn't the only one crying. “What... Why are you crying?”, he asked, afraid of him being the reason to bring his love to tears. Harry gave a small, exhausted laugh, “Because you are so caught up in thinking I'd leave you that you can't accept that I'm already way too gone to ever leave you. I love you so much Louis, I told you that very often, but I don't mind reminding you over and over again, because you are so worth it, and no matter what comes, I won't leave your side, and I want you to allow yourself to see that okay?”

And although Louis knew he now was being stubborn and simply childish but he just couldn't, maybe didn't, even, want to accept the truth, which was that Harry was as much in love as him, said, “You know I can't see,” and Harry caught the way the corners of his mouth ached to perk up but he didn't let them, so he laughed, this time happily, and responded quietly, suddenly sounding serene, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye.”

And Louis was too fond of this way too cheesy man who actually just quoted his favourite children's book, but that only showed that Harry knew him inside out and that he truly meant what he said, that he really wanted to stay with him, and Louis kissed Harry, finally, and Harry gave everything into that kiss, eager to show Louis he meant all his promises from the bottom of his heart.


	9. Epilogue

They drove home after that, Harry wanting to rest Louis and not do anything he didn't completely feel up to and Louis, once again taken aback by how much his boyfriend actually cared about him, gladly accepted that, and when they were home, Harry seemed to be even more careful with Louis and although he liked how much thought Harry spent on his actions for him, the shorter boy hoped it wouldn't stay like that all the time for he didn't like being treated so obviously different even at home now.

But that night, when they made love the first time after the accident and Harry was oh-so-gentle with him and never let his lips leave Louis' body, the older man had tears of joy streaming down his face for he still couldn't quite grasp the fact what Harry had to sacrifice for him, and they fell asleep cuddled up together, glad to have found each other.

A week later, they actually tried the blindfold thing and it was harder for clumsy Harry than he had thought, but they made it work, somehow, and he still tries it sometimes at home and Louis would laugh at him when he heard a glass break or a pan fall again and he would help Harry, who secretly would lift his blindfold to admire the way Louis did these tasks so effortlessly as if he still could see, and Louis, although he loved how Harry took care of him, very much enjoyed these moments where he was in charge, where everything felt like before despite his computer and phone reading out aloud for him and their TV running on audio description.

And although they seemed perfectly fine to everyone, there were also the hard, dark times where Louis would just break down screaming he just can't do it, times where Harry realised why Louis' phone had these special numbers saved, but they went through that, because Harry was always there to kiss Louis' tears away, and he would always quote The Little Prince, just because it made Louis smile and lead to a sweet, passionate kiss both of them craved through the time of crying.

**Author's Note:**

> I stopped proof-reading at some point, maybe I'll do it when I find the time
> 
> I hope you liked it :)


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